Saturday, October 9, 2010

Parenting a Child with a Behavior Disorder--Written By: Kimberly Morrow

a) How does it feel to be the parent of your child?

My son, Ryan, is 10 years old, and he means everything to me. When Ryan was 5 years old, he was diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder, or O.D.D. This disorder is one of the most common behavior disorders affecting children today. One of your first questions might be, “What is O.D.D.?” Well, children with O.D.D. have an ongoing pattern (for more than 6 months) of disobedient, hostile and defiant behavior toward authority figures, which goes beyond the bounds of normal childhood behavior. O.D.D. behavior peaks at around age 10, and could affect the rest of the child’s life if the child is not treated. If children with O.D.D. are not treated, they will most likely develop Conduct Disorder (C.D.)--a more severe disorder. Children or teens with C.D. not only inflict harm on other people, but they are at a higher risk of incarceration, dropping out of school, etc. In any case, the most common signs of O.D.D. include the following behaviors: temper tantrums, stealing, bullying, blaming others, and vandalism. Children with O.D.D. may also be defiant and easily annoyed.

As a result of his O.D.D., Ryan suffers from Depression--a common symptom that usually goes hand-in-hand with O.D.D. When he is not acting out or being defiant, he is very quiet and depressed. This, too, makes me feel sad because I want to understand what’s going on in his head and just take his troubles away.

As an advocate for my child, I feel like I have to be very vocal and assertive with the people dealing directly with Ryan (i.e. the staff at his elementary school, his after-school program teachers, etc). On one hand, being Ryan's mom is very draining--emotionally, physically, and mentally. Why? Because he is very hostile, defiant, and violent with me on a daily basis. It is safe to say that I worry about his every move. Every day seems to be a struggle, and I have to remember that Ryan's outbursts are because of his disorder and are not a result of anything else.

It’s very frustrating to think Ryan is always labeled as the “bad kid.” It breaks my heart to think Ryan is stereotyped and labeled. Although he has a difficult disorder to deal with, Ryan is a great kid. Every day is not always a good day, but there’s always something good in every day.

b) How is your child developmentally the same or different from other children at the various ages?

Physically, Ryan looks like an average 10 year-old. Mentally, with his outbursts, people probably think he is younger. Academically, Ryan is a little behind. Due to his O.D.D. and depression, Ryan missed a lot of school last year, so he has to repeat the 4th grade. He is sad that he is not starting 5th grade with his peers this year…and that breaks my heart, too. Nevertheless, Ryan is a smart kid. With the right resources and help, I know he is capable of catching up with his peers.

c) What professionals/agencies do you deal with? What services are available to you and your child?

Twice a week, Ryan goes to a therapist who specializes in treating children with behavior disorders. Our family also goes to a family therapy session with the same therapist once a week. In addition, Ryan attends cognitive problem solving and social skills trainings at the Center for Healthier Children, Families, and Communities at UCLA. My husband and I also attend parent trainings at the Center for Healthier Children, Families, and Communities at UCLA as well.

Furthermore, due to his O.D.D./behavior disorder, Ryan is pulled out of his mainstream classroom for a majority of the school day in order to receive services from his RSP teacher. While he is with his RSP teacher, he receives one-on-one assistance with his school work. In general, the teachers and staff at Ryan’s elementary school are extremely supportive and supply Ryan with the best services possible.

d) How did you find out about the above services?

Our family found out about the above resources from Ryan’s pediatrician, Dr. Morrow. She has sent a number of her patients to our therapist and to the Center for Healthier Children, Families, and Communities at UCLA. Our family couldn’t be more thankful for Dr. Morrow’s help!

e) What financial burden, if any, are you experiencing?

Without a doubt, the weekly therapy sessions for both Ryan and our family have caused a huge financial burden. Each hour-long session (twice a week) for Ryan costs us $75, and each hour-long family session (once a week) cost us $100. In addition, our family has to pay for Ryan’s anti-depressant medication each month. Even though we have health insurance for him, we still have to pay about $30-40 per month for his medications. We also have to make the hour-long drive to UCLA for either training sessions for Ryan or for my husband and I. Although it seems like my husband and I don’t have to pay a lot of money each month for Ryan’s treatment, every dollar adds up these days.

f) What other information do you want to share?

First off, if a parent has a child with O.D.D., I suggest they do the following: 1) recognize and praise their child’s positive behaviors, 2) model the behavior they want their child to have, 3) pick their battles and avoid power struggles, 4) set limits for their child, 5) set up a routine for their child, 6) make time throughout the week to spend quality time with their child, 7) work with their partner to ensure consistent and appropriate discipline with their child, and 8) assign their child appropriate household chore’s that build up their confidence and skills.

Secondly, I want parents to know they’re not alone. There are tons to resources for parents who have children with behavior disorders! Seek help, advice, and tips to make your life, your child’s life, and your family’s life easier.

Third, I want people to know O.D.D. or any other behavior disorder/disability should not label kids. Although Ryan has outbursts and tantrums, he is a sweet and loving kid. I just hate that Ryan is known as “the bad kid.” People should know that he can’t control his outbursts alone. He has come a long way with the help of his weekly therapy sessions and monthly trainings at the Center for Healthier Children, Families, and Communities at UCLA. Words can’t fully express how much Ryan means to me. He is definitely the light of my life--behavior disorder and all. I just love him so much…

Resources for parents and teachers:

Websites:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/oppositional-defiant-disorder/DS00630

http://behaviordisorder.org/index.html

http://www.healthcare.uiowa.edu/cdd/multiple/rl/RL_behavdisorder.asp

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/childbehaviordisorders.html

http://www.as.wvu.edu/~scidis/behavior.html

http://www.ccbd.net/content.cfm?categoryID=1E59BF1A-3048-2906-B49FF9FDAFD544A3

My Glogster about children with behavior disorders:
http://kimmyanne.edu.glogster.com/edel-430-exceptional-child/

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